ureshiku naritai - alicorn
This is a journal entry I wrote on Nov 15, 2022 4:17pm: Title: Notes from an article Feeling optimistic 😀 https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/xnPFYBuaGhpq869mY/ureshiku-naritai
> I labeled my new desired set point - a safe spot on the spectrum, call it "5", which was ambitious yet felt attainable - as "normal". When asked how I was in this state, I consciously chose to say that I was "fine" or "okay" instead of something more enthusiastic, like "great", that I might have said before - the energy I felt at "5" was no longer to be considered extra. Similarly, these were not suitable occasions to do displeasing things. I didn't have happiness to burn at "5" - I waited until I was even better before I relaxed my emotional avarice. Instead, "5" was a good place from which to undertake more expensive entertainments that offered net improvement. (More difficult than choosing a specific pair of socks to wear is starting a D&D game, or walking around and exploring a new location, or working on a piece of artwork or fiction; the lag time and effort makes them poor "cheer up" activities, but excellent ways to get from "5" to "6" or "7".)
Further note here:
I am not rich in spoons. I am par for spoons. I want to have this many spoons available for things by default, which is to say 80% of the time. I feel awake and reasonably alert and able to work for up to an hour without a break (but then I need a break). I can do a small activity now with no real consequences. I can cope with a certain amount of emotional stress without becoming overly dysregulated. I have been much higher-energy than this. This isn't extras.